What Happens When We are Vulnerable

“Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:10).

---

Hands shaking profusely, I clinched my notes tightly, trying desperately to regulate my breathing.

Several years ago, I found myself speaking to a small group of people. Public speaking was outside of my comfort zone, as I have a naturally quiet disposition. However, there was another reason for the unnerving anxiety to occupy my bones that day.

I had to share my testimony with these women. For some, this may have been easy and even an exciting time.

However, I was a very private person. Growing up in a ministry household accompanied by my perfectionist personality, I knew the value of making things look right even if they were not. Yet, I could not deny the significance of real and authentic stories through which God had worked in.

I was torn, as my desire to communicate was met by the considerable urgency to keep quiet about a part of my testimony I would rather keep private or even forget altogether. Fear was entangling my heart.

Please, Father, give me the words to say to bring glory to you and the strength to do it.

What followed was far different than what I had expected. I had anticipated speaking with minimal vulnerability to help in hopes of helping someone that sat in that group. However, I ended up expressing my words in a more broken way than I had anticipated. What I thought was healed came out feeling more raw, and harder than I had imagined.

Way to go Kelly, I thought.

Yet, I was surprised by what followed after expressing my wounds, I was met with a group that embraced me with warmth and sincerity.

And that’s what we all want, isn’t it?

Vulnerability has the potential to lead to being known and seen.

To many of us, the thought of being completely open sounds unnerving, but not always for the reason which seems most prevalent. What is it that causes us to be so hesitant?

We are not afraid of exposure: it is rejection we fear. We fear that when others see everything we are, they will not look upon us with love and compassion but instead with judgment.

There exists within us the inherent desire to have someone look upon our brokenness and want us as we truly are. We desire to have someone touch the deepest wounds we have. All guards down. All walls dismantled. All flaws exposed.

Sound familiar? Do you long to be truly seen, entirely accepted? You are not alone.

But here is the truth. Someone has already seen you. He knew everything you would do, all the pain you would carry. Yet, He came for you.

The Woman in Samaria

The fourth chapter of John provides us with a story of a woman who was no stranger to isolation. Though we do not know her name, we know a few things that provide valuable insight into her daily life, how she was treated, and the apparent strangeness when Jesus spoke to her.

What was most unusual about this encounter? That she was a Samaritan, in a time when Samaritans and Jews did not interact and even went to great lengths to avoid each other? That Jesus was talking to a woman in a society where men and women typically did not talk to one another so openly? Or was it the fact that she was rejected by her community because of her lifestyle (John 4:17-18), indicated by her decision to visit the well at the hottest time of the day to avoid social interaction?[1]  Or maybe the most bizarre aspect was that He asked for the drink of water, which would have made Him ceremonially unclean, according to the Jewish customs in which Jesus was immersed in? [2]

Regardless, there was nothing ordinary about this conversation. Yet, it was in this place that Jesus revealed that He knew about every part of her life. He knew what others looked down upon. Jesus knew what shame she carried He knew what she carried with her every day. He saw her as she truly was. And He did not walk away but chose to stay. Not only this, but Jesus revealed Himself as the divine Saviour, knowing it would change her life and those around her. The true Healer gave her grace even when she was not looking for it.

He foretold the type of worship from which His followers would come to know (John 4:23-24). The place and location did not matter, but rather the posture of their hearts and the Holy Spirit working in their lives.

Jesus revealed His identity to this woman, and it changed her life. She went and told the people within her village (interesting to note that within this time, a woman’s testimony on its own was considered invalid). Yet, Jesus saw her and loved her and saw her value. He decided to stay a few more days, in uncharted territory where the Samaritans had not heard the Gospel.

He Sees You

Jesus saw the wounds of the Samaritan woman, and He sees where you are today (the wounds you have, the scars you carry, the choices you have made). He loves you.  

The truth is, someone, did look upon our wounds and loved us before we were even formed (Rom. 5:8). He knew what our lives would look like. He knew you would be at the exact place you find yourself today. It has never surprised Him.

Scripture says that

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Ps. 147:3).

He has never changed.

Jesus Loves You

Not only does Jesus see where you are right now, but He knew before he endured the cross, and He loved you the same. He foresaw your flaws, your imperfections, yet with His healing balm of love, He chose the cross. He chose love.

Jesus saw the mistakes you would make. The rejection you would feel. The hurt you would carry. The sin that you would commit. And He chose the cross as the ultimate expression of His love. Let that truth sink into your heart.

How It Changes Our Focus

When The woman at the well had her focus on herself, she hid from her village. She carried shame and embarrassment and hid, not wanting anyone to see what was underneath, not wanting anyone to get too close.

Yet when her eyes were on her Saviour, Jesus Christ, suddenly her focus shifted. Scripture said she dropped her water jar and ran to proclaim the Gospel to those she had previously avoided. She did not stop to consider her flaws but instead dropped what she was holding and embraced the people she had previously gone out of her way to avoid.

The woman at the well was not thinking of herself, but her focus was on proclaiming the Good News to her people.

I encourage you, wherever you find yourself today, to know that Jesus Christ has forgiven you. You can come home and start a new life in surrender to Him. Leave your past behind, whatever it is you are carrying, and focus on the love of Jesus.

And tell others what that Lord has done in you.  

Blessings,

---

[1] Holdcroft, L. Thomas. The Four Gospels, 3rd Ed. CeeTeC Pub., 1999. 57.

[2] Holdcroft, 58.