Recovering from a Life of Shame and Embracing the Father
The morning had begun as rather ordinary as Simon stepped out towards the waters.
That is until a man by the name of Jesus climbed aboard the boat. He was a teacher, a Rabbi whose wisdom had caught the attention of magnificent crowds. What was so captivating about this man?
Jesus stepped into the boat of the fishermen, teaching the crowd that resided on the shorelines. As the day proceeded and He concluded His address to the crowd, Jesus turned his attention towards the people in the boat and instructed them to:
“Put out into deep water and let down the nets for a catch” (Luke. 5:4).
Simon questioned Jesus with a concern that the prospect of a successful catch was slim. However, be followed the instructions given to him.
Suddenly, there was a great catch, one that caused the entire crew to halt in their tracks. As the member of the group who was particularly vocal, Simon fell at the feet of Jesus.
“Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8).
Simon had truly caught a glimpse of the one who stood before Him, seeing Him for the first time as the Messiah.
But his gaze quickly turned back towards himself. His own faults, mistakes, and unholiness. In response, Jesus looked at Simon, His beloved child, and uttered these words:
“Don’t be afraid; from now on, you will fish for people” (Luke 5:10).
He knew how Simon’s life would unfold and had called him higher.
Fast forward to the last days of Jesus’ earthly life, estimated to be approximately two years after Simon Peter’s initial calling. Following Christ’s death and resurrection, Jesus appeared once again to the disciples in His final days here on the earth. He was not on the boat but rather was on the shoreline, unrecognizable to the disciples. They were out fishing once again but had not caught anything the entire night. Finally, he spoke to them, addressing them as friends and urging them to cast their nets to the right side of the boat. They did as he instructed and proceeded to obtain an abundant amount of fish.
Scripture states:
“Then the disciple Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.” (John 21: 7).
Peter set His eyes on his Saviour and pursued the living God whole heartily.
It is important to remember that this scene follows Peter’s grievous sin: His denial of Jesus during His trial and execution. This did not alter the fact that Peter’s reaction was far different the second time around. He ran towards Christ, not away. Rather than hiding himself in fear, Peter embraced the one who stood before Him.
The Hiddenness of Sin
When Peter first responded, he told Jesus to get away from Him. He did not want to be far from Jesus, but Simon saw His moral failings against the backdrop of Jesus’ divinity and reacted. Yet, Jesus called Him onward to rise. He called Peter to something far more significant and gave Peter His identity.
Like many of us, we try desperately to conceal our moral failings or the parts of ourselves that we do not like. We, too, are struck by the holiness of God but do not truly concentrate on His character. Instead, like Peter, we may look upon the face of God, see our shortcomings, and proceed to turn inwards rather than outwards, extending deeper into the One who first met our gaze. We are quick to say, “away from me,” not because we want to be far from God but out of shame.
We want to be near Him. in a fervent attempt to put ourselves back together before we come to Christ rather than cling solely to Him. We almost plea for Him to turn His head until we can present something that better resembles perfection. Once we encounter the holiness of God, it may be a gut reaction to not go to God when we see our filthiness, our faults, and our shortcomings.
And we would stay in that place if it wasn’t for Jesus.
But isn’t it hypocritical to keep going to God for the same thing which plagues our hearts, whether it be fear, addiction, or shame?
No, it’s not.
The mark of a repentant heart is that there is a struggle involved. The individual wants to change. And in this, we are free to run to your Father, in humility, recognizing that we cannot live the way we are supposed on our own strength.
It is important to feel the weight of our sins. That means godly sorrow is working in our hearts. But it should never be louder than the grace of God or distract us from our pursuit of Him. If it keeps us from pursuing Him because we beat ourselves up over our mistakes or faults, that is condemnation, not grace.
When we know the person we look upon, it becomes exceedingly clear what our reaction should be. He is our Father who carries us; we are never the ones who let Him down. Therefore, we can run to Him.
Knowing the Person of Jesus Christ
As Peter began to know Jesus more over the years, He saw the heart of this man to whom he called Lord. Simon would hear Him speak to the crowds and heal those whom the world had cast aside. The lepers, the lame, and those who were broken and hurting were touched by God Himself. As were the widows and the orphans. Peter had the privilege of seeing firsthand the look of compassion Christ had when he addressed the crowds. He came to know His savior truly.
This is why, after Peter’s greatest moral failing, He ran to Jesus. He did not turn his head away and awaited in fear and anxiety as the boat made its way toward the shore. He did not fear the embrace of Jesus because of his shame.
So what made Peter respond in such a different manner? He knew the One to whom He looked upon. Simon Peter knew Jesus’ heart.
His focus was not on his sin or what he had done but on what Jesus Christ had done.
We have the same promise. Whatever you may have happened, whatever shame alienates you, remember to whom you run. He is your Father. We are given this promise:
“My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One”. (1 John 2:1)
Our knowledge of the Person and character of Jesus Christ changes how we react. Let this truth penetrate your heart. If you struggle to go to God in prayer, either because of your shame, shortcoming, or who you think you are, I urge you to get to know the character of Jesus Christ. Be well-acquainted in His teachings, and observe the stories of His healings. See what type of Person He was while walking the earth. Trace His footsteps.
Trust me, no matter how long you have been a Christian, this serves as a reminder to run to our Father. To continually know Him more and more and set our gaze in pursuit of Him.
The Power of Surrender
It is necessary to highlight the underlying feature within Simon Peter’s journey with Christ in both instances of the miraculous catch: surrender.
The disciples had their minds set on a path to obtain their objective. It was a catch of fish they desired in order to produce meals and generate a substantial income. Yet, we see that Jesus instructed them to catch fish following His directions.
And they followed.
For Simon Peter to come to a knowledge of Christ, seeing Him face to face, they first had to put their trust in Jesus’ way and not in their own understanding.
There was not simply a recognition of who Jesus was, but a corresponding surrender.
Truly knowing the person of Jesus Christ entails surrendering to Him, His way, and His plan for our lives. To honestly know Him, we have to trust Him even when we do not truly understand. We have the privilege to follow Him, trusting that we trust in the One who is love.
To know the Person of Christ, we must walk in obedience to Him, even when we do not see the full picture right away.
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It is necessary to note that Peter’s journey continued after that day. He went on to be one of the Apostles, founders of the Early Church, and ended up giving His love for the One who called out to Him that day.
My prayer is that, like Simon Peter, who was radically changed by knowing Christ, you too would continue to be changed, regardless of how long you may have been a follower of Christ. By being renewed in who He is, we would not hesitate or hide from our God but willingly embrace His arms in full pursuit and surrender of the One who catches our gaze.
Blessings,
